Developing Emotional Intelligence (Part 4 of 6) - Social Awareness
We were setting up for a brand new event and the stress was mounting. Due to circumstances beyond my control, some of our team members were delayed or unable to support our set up and I found myself behind schedule, with few hands to help and a lot to do before our guests arrived. I was aware that my anxiety about getting everything done was causing me to sweat, and increase my walking pace, and several times I caught myself rushing. I noticed that my stress and pace were causing others to feel flustered, so I stepped out of the room, gathered my breath and my thoughts, made a plan of attack and re-entered with a fresh level of calm I noticed immediately that my change in demeanour began to help others relax and all of us were able to think more clearly for the work ahead of us.
This happens because of mirror neurons in our brains. Mirror neurons are specialized brain cells that activate both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else performing the same action. They are believed to help us understand others' intentions and emotions by internally simulating their experiences. For example, if you see someone smiling, your mirror neurons may fire as if you were smiling, helping you grasp their emotional state. These neurons are key to empathy, social learning, and imitation. As a result, mirror neurons help us bridge the gap between observation and personal experience, fostering social connections and emotional understanding. IF we care to notice.
Social awareness is a key pillar of emotional intelligence, shaping how we interact with others, respond to their emotions, and navigate complex social situations. It goes beyond merely noticing what’s happening around us; it involves deeply understanding the social cues that inform our responses. These cues come from several domains: spoken language and tone, facial expressions, body language, situational context, and the emotions of others. Each of these provides valuable insights into what people are thinking, feeling, or experiencing.
Some elements of social awareness may come naturally, such as recognizing when someone's tone is friendly or agitated. However, others require curiosity and intentional effort, like accurately interpreting body language or identifying subtle emotions in challenging situations. Developing social awareness equips us to make thoughtful, informed decisions in our interactions, improving our ability to connect, lead, and collaborate effectively.
For leaders, this skill is crucial. It allows them to build trust, manage conflicts, and foster an environment where team members feel understood and valued. Leaders who excel in social awareness are better equipped to respond to the emotional needs of their team and navigate diverse interpersonal dynamics.
Strategies to Develop Social Awareness:
Active Listening: When we practice listening without interrupting or thinking of a response we hold space for gathering additional data about the speaker. By focusing fully on the speaker’s words, tone, and body language, we can better understand the emotions and needs being communicated.
Observation Practice: Taking intentional time to observe group dynamics in meetings or social settings helps us notice patterns of behaviour, body language, and interactions we might otherwise overlook. Observation is key to nurturing curiosity, gathering a more fulsome contextual understanding and informing good questions we can ask for clarification.
Seek Feedback: When we take the courageous step to ask team members for feedback on how they experienced us in social interactions. We allow others to help us see ourselves outside of the bias of our intention. This builds our self-awareness and highlights areas for growth in social awareness, helping us make more conscious adjustments in our behaviour.
These three strategies will help us in our journey of humility, empathy, and curiosity which are all essential ingredients in our journey to develop more refined emotional intelligence skills.
Which strategy is a challenge for you to practice? Can you identify what stops you?
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