The Hidden Cost of Disconnection

Have you ever had a great team member leave for what seems like no reason?

At first glance, it may look like burnout, better pay elsewhere, or “just time for a change,” but often, what’s really happening beneath the surface is something much harder to name: a breakdown in belonging.

Disconnection in the workplace rarely happens in one big moment. It creeps in subtly—when feedback becomes transactional, when no one checks in after a hard meeting, when relationships drift into silence instead of solidarity. Over time, this quiet erosion leads to disengagement, and disengagement leads to departure.

In From Conflict to Collaboration, I wrote: “When professionalism becomes a hidden expectation, it creates unspoken rules that fuel disconnection. It becomes a measuring stick without a shared definition.” (p. 21)

Our expectations around professionalism at work are just one of many generational dynamics that can contribute to quiet disconnection. It creeps in, it accumulates, and then our once engaged team member is gone.

So what is the real cost? Not just recruitment fees or lost productivity. Losing a staff member points to a cultural dysfunction that may be costing us more than we realize. Yes, there are direct costs associated with recruiting, onboarding and replacing that lost employee, but the indirect costs show up in team morale, organization reputation, and trust (or lack thereof)  in leadership.

What we’ve learned through working with hundreds of leaders is this: retention is not a goal, it’s a result. A result that is the bi-product of connection, purpose and trust. It is a result of everyday relational leadership.

If someone left your team tomorrow, would they feel safe enough to tell you why? Would they even know the real reason themselves? Disconnection often hides under the surface until it’s too late, but it’s also preventable.

That’s why we teach teams to recognize the micro-moments that shape culture: the glance, the pause, the follow-up, the thank-you. These small things, done consistently, contribute to why people stay.

Would you like to take a look at what turnover, absenteeism and low engagement are costing your organization, comment COST in the comments and we’ll send you our Culture Cost Calculator no strings attached.

If this resonates and you’re ready to explore how to embed this awareness into your leadership culture, let’s talk.