Emotional Maturity Part 2

In Part One of this series, we explored how Baby Boomers often define emotional maturity in terms of composure, loyalty, and stoicism—a reflection of their formative experiences in hierarchical, performance-driven workplaces.

Today, we turn our attention to the middle bridge: Generation X and Millennials. These two generations shaped—and were shaped by—very different workplace landscapes. Their perspectives on emotional maturity often reflect contrasting values: independence and self-regulation on one side, and empathy and open expression on the other. And yet, both offer vital clues for navigating the emotionally intelligent workplace of today.

Generation X: Self-Reliance, Boundaries, and Quiet Resilience

Born between 1965 and 1980, Gen Xers were raised in a rapidly changing world. Many were children of divorce or had dual-income parents, growing up with a strong sense of independence and often labeled the “latchkey generation.”

This early autonomy shaped how they approach emotional maturity: with pragmatism, self-sufficiency, and a clear boundary between the personal and professional. Dr. Jean Twenge, psychologist and generational researcher, notes that Gen X matured during an era when “figuring it out on your own” was considered a rite of passage—and vulnerability was often seen as a liability, especially at work.

In the workplace, this often shows up as:

• Practical emotional regulation: Gen X tends to process feelings privately and values composure.

• Problem-solving focus: They’re more likely to ask, “What can we do about it?” than to dwell on emotional weight.

• Boundaries as maturity: Protecting personal time and energy is viewed not as disengagement, but wisdom.

As researcher Elissa Fink put it, “Gen X may be quiet, but they’re not disengaged. They believe in getting the job done without needing to talk about every feeling that comes with it.”

However, Gen X can sometimes be perceived by younger colleagues as emotionally reserved—or even aloof. Their reluctance to overshare stems from a value system that equates professionalism with privacy. While this can come across as emotionally distant, it often masks a deep desire for mutual respect and competence.

Interestingly, many Gen X leaders are now being called upon to model vulnerability and empathy—skills they may not have been encouraged to practice in earlier roles. As one Gen X manager shared in a Deloitte interview,

 “We grew up believing that emotional maturity meant independence. But now I’m realizing it also means interdependence—making room for others’ emotions, not just managing your own.”

Millennials: Empathy, Purpose, and Open Expression

Millennials, born between 1981 and 1996, entered a workplace already beginning to shift. Raised in classrooms that encouraged participation, affirmation, and self-expression, they were the first generation to grow up with emotional intelligence as part of mainstream vocabulary. As adults, they helped normalize terms like “psychological safety,” “burnout,” and “mental health day” in the professional sphere.

Dr. Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence gained traction just as Millennials were entering the workforce. This timing meant that, for many, emotional maturity was synonymous with self-awareness, empathy, and the courage to be authentic.

In practice, Millennial professionals often prioritize:

• Open communication: They value feedback, transparency, and two-way conversations with leaders.

• Purpose-driven work: Emotional maturity means aligning personal values with professional decisions.

• Mental health advocacy: Sharing struggles or setting emotional boundaries is seen as responsible, not unprofessional.

A study by the Six Seconds EQ Network (2023) found that Millennials score especially high in relational emotional intelligence—skills like empathy, social connection, and emotional literacy. They’ve led the charge in normalizing vulnerability in leadership, challenging the idea that professionalism requires emotional detachment.

However, with this openness comes a learning curve. Dr. Terri Cooper, Chief Inclusion Officer at Deloitte, has observed that Millennials can at times struggle with resilience in the face of prolonged ambiguity or inconsistent feedback, largely because their expectations for inclusive, supportive environments are so high.

Social media has also played a role. As Goleman has noted in more recent work, Millennials are the first generation whose early careers overlapped with digital platforms that reward external validation. This sometimes complicates their relationship with feedback and emotional regulation, especially when workplace communication is vague or dismissive.

That said, the strengths Millennials bring are reshaping work culture in powerful ways. They’ve modelled that emotionally intelligent workplaces are not just “soft”—they are more innovative, more human, and ultimately more productive.

Connecting the Dots: Strengths and Friction Between X and Y

When Gen X and Millennials work together, their definitions of emotional maturity can compliment or clash.

A Gen X manager might see a Millennial’s emotional expression as oversharing, while a Millennial might experience a Gen X colleague’s self-containment as disconnection. But when both perspectives are understood, a new possibility emerges: a workplace where action and empathy coexist.

As Stephen M.R. Covey notes in Trust & Inspire, “What’s needed now is not more control, but more connection. Not just accountability, but shared responsibility.” This message resonates deeply across both generations—if we make space for each other’s ways of showing maturity.

Next week, we’ll wrap up this series by exploring how Gen Z is redefining emotional maturity entirely—and offer practical strategies for bringing all four generational perspectives together into a healthier, more connected workplace culture.

Questions for Reflection

• Where do I default: toward quiet self-regulation or open emotional dialogue? What shaped that?

• What might I learn from the emotional maturity strengths of those older or younger than me?

• How might I practice both empathy and boundaries in my leadership or team role?